Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Parrot tells people to F**K off at zoo
A parrot is ruffling feathers at a zoo by telling visitors to “f**k off”.
Max the African Grey was donated by a previous owner who got fed up with his chatter.
The five-year-old also mimics car alarms and mobile phone ringtones.
Keeper Peter Hansom at South Park birdhouse in Darlington, Co Durham, blamed local school-children for teaching Max the obscenity.
He said: “He’s a bright chap and easily picked it up. There’s no knowing when he’ll blurt it out. I hold my breath when parents stand with small children at his cage.
“Sometimes he will just say ‘hello’ or ‘bye’ but as often as not it’s ‘f**k off’.
“It’s usually when people are walking away and least expect it.
“His favorite trick is to stick his head in a tin cup in his cage and then swear. He seems to know it makes a louder sound.”
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No More Christmas and Easter
Yorkshire Coast College have removed the words Christmas and Easter from their calendar so as not to cause offence to ethnic minorities or religious groups.
The Evening News was tipped off about the move by an outraged member of staff who described the college as "a joke" and Scarborough MP Robert Goodwill has slammed the initiative as "political correctness gone mad".A college spokesman said the decision had been made in accordance with Ofsted guidelines and was aimed at increasing inclusion and diversity.
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Man catches wife in bed with priest
An husband returned home early from work to find his wife in bed with their local priest.
Following the shock discovery, the man stormed into the local bishop's office in Chioggia, near Venice, and demanded an explanation. Later police were called to calm him down.
Details of the incident in Chioggia near Venice emerged on Sunday in Italian newspapers and the local bishop Angelo Daniel has now confirmed that the adulterous priest has been sent to another parish for "reeducation".
The 53-year-old priest was described as a specialist on the Bible and had been a good friend of the couple.
The husband, 39, and his wife, 37, have two children.
Bishop Daniel added: "I have always respected the priest in question and I will continue to respect him. You cannot discount all the good a person has done in their life just because of one mistake."
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'B' is for Bribery?
Chicago School District Pays Students Cash for Grades
Good grades may have lost their currency in the school yard, but a new program paying students for their As, Bs and even Cs could be sending the wrong message, the Chicago Tribune reported Friday.
Up to 5,000 freshmen at 20 public high schools in Chicago will be tested every five weeks in five different subjects. An average grade of C earns students $20, a B pulls in $35 and an A is worth $50 — half in cash up front and the rest to be paid out upon graduation.
A straight-A student can earn $4,000 by the end of sophomore year through the Harvard-developed program, according to the newspaper.
Some, like chief executive of Chicago Public Schools, Arne Duncan, applaud the introduction of a "middle class" incentive to the mostly lower-income district. But others aren’t so keen in this very literal investment in education.
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Dog Dials 911 When Owner Has Seizure
"Man's best friend" may not cut it for a Scottsdale dog named Buddy — a trained German shepherd who saved his owner's life by dialing 911 when he began having a seizure, police said Sunday
On the recorded 911 call Wednesday, Buddy is heard whimpering and barking after the somewhat confused dispatcher answers the phone and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help.
"Hello, this is 911. Hello ... Can you hear me? Is there somebody there you can give the phone to," says the dispatcher, Chris Scott.
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Details surface about L.A. train accident
Metrolink Engineer Was Texting Moments Before Deadly Crash
Federal investigators said they will seek the cell phone records of two teenagers and a train engineer as they probe whether text messages factored into a fiery commuter train crash that killed 25 people in America's worst rail disaster in 15 years.
The engineer of the Metrolink train that crashed head-on near Chatsworth, California, was chatting with a teenager moments before the crash.
Nick Williams, a teenage train enthusiast said he exchanged three text messages with engineer Robert Sanchez Friday afternoon. Williams, who considered Sanchez a "mentor," received the last text at 4:22 p.m., one minute before the train wreck. Williams' claims have not been confirmed.