The Wonderful World of Prison Inventions

Someone once said that necessity is the mother of all invention.

Probably the biggest complaint and hardship for any prisoner is the lack of voluntary coitus to something that is or resembles a vagina, and if your doing a lifetime bid in the joint, even masturbation gets a bit dull after a while. More industrious prisoners have fashioned makeshift sex dolls, called "muffbags", to help cope with their carnal desires.

Handerpants - The Underpants for Your Hands!

Your hands never need to go commando again!

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Taking a Poop Bath

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Good News, Bad News Day.

The good news: Barry Shell won more than $4 million. The bad news: he ended up in jail.
Shell, from Brampton, Ont., picked up a check for $4,377,298, the top prize in the July 18 draw for the Lotto 6/49.
"I went to the store and checked my ticket on the self-serve ticket checker," Shell was quoted as saying in a news release from the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation.
"As soon as I saw how much I had won, I grabbed a pen and signed my ticket."
On Monday afternoon, a smiling Shell was photographed holding up his check at the OLG headquarters on Dundas Street West in Toronto.
Then Shell strolled out of the building and into the hands of Peel Regional Police officers.
He was wanted on a six-year-old warrant for failing to appear, theft under $5,000 and possession of property obtained by crime.
According to a spokesman for the OLG, every lottery winner undergoes a security check, and if anything is turned up during the course of the investigation the matter is turned over to the Ontario Provincial Police.
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Policeman Trying To Cut Off Wheel Clamp!

The extraordinary saga began on the afternoon of Wednesday, July 15 when a scenes-of-crimes officer in a unmarked police silver Peugeot 206 arrived at Eureka Place, Trinity Road, to follow up an investigation. The plain clothes woman officer left the car near the Pheasant pub, but it was outside the marked bays despite signs forbidding this and warning of 24-hour clamping and £200 charges.
PCS workers immobilized the car and when this was discovered uniformed officers were called in to help. The company says officers phoned them and told them to immediately free the car. When PCS refused, a uniformed policeman set about trying to open the clamp with a pair of bolt croppers. The police say they are taking action against PCS.
Chief Inspector John Frayne said in a statement: "The company refused to remove the clamp and subsequently the vehicle was recovered to Ashford police station. The clamping company have since removed the clamp and the matter is subject to legal proceedings."
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Camel Hit by Car-Calmly Walks Away

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MonkeyMan

The daredevil climber is a hero in India wowing crowds by scaling heights of up to 300ft without
a harness.
22-year-old discovered his climbing ability four years ago working on one of the county's notoriously dangerous building sites. And after teaching himself by watching monkeys climb trees, Jyothi has enhanced his dazzling agility using stunts from his favourite films. He even copies some of Spiderman's best moves, hanging upside down and jutting out at a 90 degree angle.

Standing out ... real life Spidey in action

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Small Bits of News You Didn’t Know you Needed

Woman Found Dead at McDonald's Food Processing Plant
A 40-year-old woman has been found dead in a machine at a Southern California food processing plant that is a major supplier for McDonald's restaurants.
Los Angeles County sheriff's detectives say the woman's body was found early Tuesday at Golden State Foods in the City of Industry, an east Los Angeles suburb. Investigators believe her death was accidental.
No other details were given about her death or about the woman except that she was an employee.
The Irvine-based company supplies McDonald's the special sauce for the restaurant's Big Mac
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Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone
An employee at a factory that makes iPhones in China killed himself after a prototype went missing, and Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.
The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.
Although Apple and Foxconn have confirmed Sun's suicide, they have not provided details about the circumstances.
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3 Accused of Letting Rats Chew Toes Off Ohio Infant　
Three people from Waverly, Ohio have been accused of letting rats bite a 6-week-old girl and chew off her toes at their cluttered Ohio mobile home.
Pike County prosecutor Rob Junk says the baby's toes on one foot were gone when sheriff's deputies went to the home Sunday after receiving an anonymous tip.
The baby is in fair condition at a Columbus hospital.
A married couple and the 18-year-old boyfriend of the baby's mother are charged with felony child endangering. They were in court for an initial hearing Tuesday. They're jailed pending a plea hearing in two weeks.
The prosecutor says they all lived in the mobile home west of Piketon, a village noted for its old uranium enrichment plant.
He says the baby's mother is a juvenile. He won't identify her or say if she'll be charged.
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Newborn Snatched From Crib By Family Dog Still Critical
A newborn injured after the family dog carried the baby from his crib to the backyard remained in critical condition Wednesday at University of Kentucky Hospital.
University spokeswoman Amy Ratliff said there was no change to the condition of Alexander James Smith, who was admitted Monday - three days after he was born.
Doctors initially braced the family for the possibility Smith might not make it, but his condition stabilized Monday night and he is now expected to survive.
He sustained collapsed lungs, broken ribs and a skull fracture after the incident with the family pet, Dakota. A.J.'s father Michael Smith said Tuesday it was not a vicious attack but that he doesn't want the dog back in the home.
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Dumpster Diving

Swimming pools made out of trash dumpster

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Man blames store chain for his arrest

A Swedish man wants a local greengrocers to change its name after finding himself overcome with the urge to masturbate every time he spots the store's name - Willy's.
Mats Fagerholm, 35, told police: "It's bad enough with all the cucumbers and other vegetables on display, but then when I see the store's name I just can't help myself. It's not my fault."
The man made the plea to cops after finally being arrested outside a Willy's store in Orebro, southern Sweden.
A police spokesman said: "We have had several reports giving a clear description of the man - he's a serial exhibitionist. In all the complaints we received he was always in the entrance to the store."
One witness said: "He was masturbating shamelessly, I called police and by the time they arrived he had ridden off on a bicycle."
Because of the numerous complaints police were ready to act quickly the next time there was a call and arrested him when he was spotted at one of the grocery chain's stores.
He now faces public indecency charges.
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